By Richard Lederer
(As asked to young ones…)
*Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel.
*I know what a sextet is but I had rather not say.
*Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and McCoys.
*My very best liked piece of music is the Bronze Lullaby.
*My favorite composer is Opus.
*A harp is a nude piano.
*A tuba is much larger than its name.
*My favorite instrument is the bassoon. It is so hard to play people seldom play it. That is why I like the bassoon best.
*It is easy to teach anyone to play the maracas. Just grip the neck and shake him in rhythm.
*The most dangerous part about playing cymbals is near the nose.
*Anyone who can read all the instrument notes at the same time gets to be the conductor.
*The double bass is also called the bass viol, string bass, and bass fiddle. It has so many names because it is so huge.
*Aaron Copland is one of your most famous contemporary composers. It is unusual to be contemporary. Most composers do not live until they are dead.
*Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music.
*Refrain means don’t do it. A refrain in music is the part you better not try to sing.
*A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.
*John Sebastian Bach died from 1750 to the present.
*Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was rather large.
*Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling him. I guess he could not hear so good. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died from this.
*Henry Purcell is a well known composer few people have ever heard of.
*An opera is a song of bigly size.
*In the last scene of Pagliacci, Canio stabs Nedda who is the one he really loves. Pretty soon Silvio also gets stabbed, and they all live happily ever after.
*When a singer sings, he stirs up the air and makes it hit any passing eardrums. But if he is good, he knows how to keep it from hurting.
*Most authorities agree that music of antiquity was written long ago.
*Instruments come in many sizes, shapes and orchestras.
*You should always say celli when you mean there are two or more cellos.
*Another name for kettle drums is timpani. But I think I will just stick with the first name and learn it good.
*A trumpet is an instrument when it is not an elephant sound.
*While trombones have tubes, trumpets prefer to wear valves.