A child’s view of music ♪♫

By Richard Lederer

(As asked to young ones…)

*Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel.

*I know what a sextet is but I had rather not say.

*Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and McCoys.

*My very best liked piece of music is the Bronze Lullaby.

*My favorite composer is Opus.

*A harp is a nude piano.

*A tuba is much larger than its name.

*My favorite instrument is the bassoon. It is so hard to play people seldom play it. That is why I like the bassoon best.

*It is easy to teach anyone to play the maracas. Just grip the neck and shake him in rhythm.

*The most dangerous part about playing cymbals is near the nose.

*Anyone who can read all the instrument notes at the same time gets to be the conductor.

*The double bass is also called the bass viol, string bass, and bass fiddle. It has so many names because it is so huge.

*Aaron Copland is one of your most famous contemporary composers. It is unusual to be contemporary. Most composers do not live until they are dead.

*Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music.

*Refrain means don’t do it. A refrain in music is the part you better not try to sing.

*A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.

*John Sebastian Bach died from 1750 to the present.

*Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was rather large.

*Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling him. I guess he could not hear so good. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died from this.

*Henry Purcell is a well known composer few people have ever heard of.

*An opera is a song of bigly size.

*In the last scene of Pagliacci, Canio stabs Nedda who is the one he really loves. Pretty soon Silvio also gets stabbed, and they all live happily ever after.

*When a singer sings, he stirs up the air and makes it hit any passing eardrums. But if he is good, he knows how to keep it from hurting.

*Most authorities agree that music of antiquity was written long ago.

*Instruments come in many sizes, shapes and orchestras.

*You should always say celli when you mean there are two or more cellos.

*Another name for kettle drums is timpani. But I think I will just stick with the first name and learn it good.

*A trumpet is an instrument when it is not an elephant sound.

*While trombones have tubes, trumpets prefer to wear valves.

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