Squirrel Problems at the Churches
There were four churches and a synagogue in a small town: a Presbyterian church, a Baptist church, a Methodist church, a Catholic church and a Jewish synagogue.
Each church and the synagogue had a problem with squirrels.
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels. After much prayer and consideration, they determined the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.
At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves.
The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Methodist church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water slide.
But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy. They baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took one squirrel and circumcised him; they haven’t seen a squirrel since…
Bill’s friend Harry walks into a barber shop, a little boy on tow, and gets the the full treatment – shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. – After the barber has finished, Harry. places the kid in the chair, and says to the barber, “I’m going to buy a tie, I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
When the little kid’s haircut was completed and Harry still hadn’t returned, the barber says, “Looks like your daddy’s forgotten all about you.”
“That wasn’t my daddy,” says the small fry “He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, ‘Come on, kid, we’re gonna get a free haircut!’