The Lighter side of July 2018 ☺☺☺

Restaurant Makeovers

Breakfast chain that’s moving to an escape-room theme?

– Baffle House

Casual-dining chain where servers will tell diners all about their personal lives?

– T. M. I. Friday’s

Down-home chain that’s going to start drilling for oil under its restaurants?

– Fracker Barrel

Seafood chain going for a 1920s speakeasy theme?

– Red Mobster

Laws of Work

1. To err is human; to forgive is not our policy.

2. Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work he/she is supposed to be doing.

3. Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.

4. If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

5. You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.

6. People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn’t.

7. If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.

8. At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

9. When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

10. Following the rules will not get the job done.

11. Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.

12. When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, “How would the Lone Ranger handle this?”

13. No matter how much you do, you never do enough.

28. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.

Technically Correct

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft’s electronic navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter’s position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said “WHERE AM I?” in large letters.

People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said “YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER”

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.

“I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer.”

Einstein Smart

One day, Einstein has to speak at an important science conference. On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:

“I’m sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!”

The driver agrees: “You’re right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don’t know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place.”

“That’s a great idea!” says Einstein. “Let’s switch places then!”

So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.

But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won’t be able to respond. So he stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his difficult question. The whole room goes silent, waiting for the response.

The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says: “Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I’m going to let my driver answer it for me.”

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