Warren, a farmer, asked the vet to come out to check on his favorite bull who wasn’t doing well at all. After checking the bull’s vital signs, the vet reached in his black bag and pulled out a rather large pill.
He forced open the bull’s mouth and crammed the pill down his gullet.
Suddenly the bull jumped up and took off like a banshee, jumping every fence in his way.
The vet exclaimed, “Well, looks like your bull is healed!”
Warren replied, “Now give me one of those pills. I’ve gotta catch him!”
PUBLICIST FOR MOSES
Moses: “How are we going to get across the sea? The Egyptians are close behind us!”
General of the army: “Normally, I’d recommend that we build our own
bridge to carry us across. But there’s not enough time for that.”
Admiral of the navy: “Normally, I’d recommend that we build barges to carry us across. But time is too short.”
Public relations officer: “I don’t have a solution, but I can promise you this: If you can find a way out of here, I’ll get you two or three pages in the Old Testament!”
“Vernon, where’s your homework?” Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand.
“My dog ate it,” was his solemn response.
“Vernon, I’ve been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?”
“It’s true, Miss Martin, I swear,” insisted the boy. “I had to force him, but he ate it!”