*A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunderstorm.
As the passengers were being bounced around by the turbulence a young woman turned to a minister sitting next to her and with a nervous laugh asks, “Reverend, you’re a man of God, can’t you do something about this storm?”
To which he replies, “Lady, I’m in marketing, not management.”
The priest is repairing the church fence. A young boy has been standing nearby, watching for a long while. The priest finally asks him, “Do you want to speak with me, my son?”
“No, I’m just waiting.”
“Waiting for what?”
“Waiting to hear what a priest says when he hits his finger with a hammer.”
The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch.
Someone dialed 911.
When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him to faint.
“It was enough to make anybody faint,” he said. “My son asked me for the keys to the garage, and instead of driving the car out, he came out with the lawn mower.”